1 00:00:01,044 --> 00:00:02,785 [bell rings] 2 00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:05,048 PROFESSOR: Why do we have a damn bell?! 3 00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:06,832 This is a college! 4 00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,486 Sorry I'm late. 5 00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:10,619 The dean is getting his ass kicked 6 00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:11,968 in the parking lot. 7 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,450 It's so messed up. Nobody is stopping to help. 8 00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:18,322 Yeesh. So this is old Corpsey herself, huh? 9 00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:19,497 [sniffs] Ugh! 10 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,108 What'd, they leave her out in the sun? 11 00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:22,718 - [gasps] - Aah! 12 00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:25,199 Oh, I didn't miss anything, did I? 13 00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,288 I was just trying to catch a little catnap 14 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,072 before class started. 15 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:31,118 G-G-G-G-G-Going on is what? 16 00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,728 Hayley, this is our new lab partner. 17 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,208 She's a SNAB. 18 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,645 A Student of Notable Age or Background. 19 00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:38,299 And her name's Anus. 20 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,431 Eunice. 21 00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:42,433 - [bell rings] - PROFESSOR: Yahh! 22 00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:44,305 Dammit! 23 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,785 Wow. 98 years old, 24 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,961 and you're going back to college. 25 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,486 You're never too old to follow your dreams. 26 00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:54,097 I find that so inspiring. 27 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,578 I'll tell you what I find inspiring. 28 00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:59,102 The student bodies. 29 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,799 [whistles] 30 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:04,586 Sweet Georgia Brown. 31 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:07,676 I happen to have an interest in the fellas and the gals. 32 00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:10,896 Daaamn, old lady! 33 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:13,595 [beeping] 34 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,905 [suspenseful music plays] 35 00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:25,607 ♪ 36 00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:29,437 Ooh, ooh, and another thing about my new friend Eunice... 37 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:32,222 another thing is, she is so funny. 38 00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,137 Check out this hilarious picture of us 39 00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:36,008 pretending to hump the tope-liary animals 40 00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:37,290 out front of the Women's Center. 41 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,273 [all gasp] 42 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:42,537 You didn't tell us she was an old age person. 43 00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,974 Barf City, population no thank you. 44 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,323 Now, Francine, 45 00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:49,152 I too was once put off by old people, 46 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,111 but then I had an adventure about them 47 00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,721 that changed my mind. 48 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:53,983 I'm always having adventures 49 00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:56,377 and learning life-changing lessons from them. 50 00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:59,641 This week, I'm converting our mud room into a man cave. 51 00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:02,296 I wonder what I'll learn from that. 52 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:05,560 Well, I say, "Go young or go home." 53 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,257 No old-o. 54 00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:10,652 Well, I think Eunice is a deeply inspirational SNAB. 55 00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:13,133 And I hope I'm just like her when I get old. 56 00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:16,745 Oh, you're not going to be like Eunice. 57 00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:19,443 You're going to be like... your mom. 58 00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,010 Pff. Sha-yeah-hah right. 59 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,533 It's fate. 60 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,927 Every woman eventually becomes her mother. 61 00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,798 - Will I become my mother? - No. 62 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,192 Every man marries his mother. 63 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,628 Noice. 64 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,152 Hayley, think of all the ways 65 00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:34,110 you're already like Francine. 66 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,068 Laid-back, except for quick bursts of anger. 67 00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,374 Lazy. 68 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:38,984 Heavy substance abuse. 69 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:40,464 For you, weed. 70 00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:42,858 For Francine, collectible Guardians of the Galaxy 71 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,642 Big Gulp cups full of white wine. 72 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:47,210 You should consider yourself lucky, Hayley. 73 00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:49,908 This is Francine we're talking about here. 74 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,606 I'm an icon. 75 00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,260 I'm sorry, but me become like you? 76 00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:55,087 Gross. 77 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:58,482 It's like, Barf City, population no thank you. 78 00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,049 - [all gasp] - Oh, see, right there? 79 00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,722 Francine just said that like two minutes ago! 80 00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,246 -No, she didn't. -FRANCINE: Barf City, 81 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,793 population no thank you. 82 00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,969 Roger, why were you recording us? 83 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,797 I'm recording everything these days. 84 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,929 I'm afraid the political atmosphere 85 00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,497 inside my improv team, Pizza Party Weekend, 86 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,543 has me... a bit paranoid. 87 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,066 There's snakes in the grass. 88 00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,286 Certain members want me out. 89 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,678 - Which ones? - All of them. 90 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:21,679 Every single one of them. 91 00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:24,334 Well, Hayley, too bad for you 92 00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:26,336 that you're gonna end up being like me, 93 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,730 whether you like it or not. 94 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,689 Now, I see it's time for my 10:00 AM nap, so... 95 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,343 Ugh! Here comes another one 96 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,954 of your obnoxious little sayings. 97 00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:37,869 Give Momma some sugar 98 00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:41,351 so she can have them sweet dreams. 99 00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,483 - [moans] - Ugh! 100 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:43,962 Barfsylvania... 101 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:46,443 BOTH: Population nothankyula. 102 00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,532 - Aah! - [laughs] 103 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,795 [sipping] 104 00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:55,104 ♪ 105 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:58,847 Oh! You don't have a big squiggly mustache! 106 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,979 For the last time, Jeff, we are listing the ways 107 00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,504 I am different from my mom, not Wario. 108 00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:05,245 Oh, Hayley! 109 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:08,204 Looky what I found in the old picture album. 110 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,598 You can barely tell us apart. 111 00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,339 Yeah, only because you were always trying 112 00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:15,298 to make me a frilly, princessy little clone of yourself. 113 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:19,041 Oh, excuse me for ever trying to bond with my daughter. 114 00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,999 Bond?! Ha! 115 00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,958 You just wanted your own personal Mini-Me. 116 00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,090 Like that Halloween that you went as Mini-Me 117 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:26,875 and you made me go as Mini-Mini-Me. 118 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,096 But I didn't wanna be Mini-Me. 119 00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,770 [voice breaking] I wanted to be Minnie Mouse. 120 00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:34,839 Or at least Mini-Minnie Mouse. 121 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:37,277 But that's what Dad and Steve got to go as! 122 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,280 But it's okay. 123 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,630 Because I couldn't be more different from you. 124 00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:44,196 Oh, yeah? 125 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,418 Why don't you check my old senior picture? 126 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:49,854 HAYLEY: You... 127 00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,334 wore a headband, too? 128 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,118 Face it, Hayley. 129 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:55,773 There's too much of me in you already. 130 00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,297 My genes. 131 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,733 My cooking. 132 00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:01,039 My double-jointedness. 133 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,127 You're double-jointed? 134 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,694 Yes. 135 00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:04,391 - [bones crack] - [gasps] 136 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,654 And so are you! 137 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,960 - [bones crack] - [gasps] 138 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:12,529 Toodle-oo, Future Me! 139 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:15,010 Well, Steve, through ruthless cunning, 140 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,317 I seized control of Pizza Party Weekend 141 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,927 and fired all the other members. 142 00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,972 Had to be done. It was a nest of vipers. 143 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:23,714 A den of... vipers. 144 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:26,108 Plus, none of them could do characters for crap. 145 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,892 But now I gotta find a whole new team! 146 00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,981 What about me and my friends? 147 00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,854 Our drunk driving skit got big laughs 148 00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,508 at the pre-prom assembly last year. 149 00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,466 Hmm. How was the prom? 150 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,511 It was a bloodbath. 151 00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,121 Drunk driving was way up. 152 00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,644 I don't know. 153 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,342 Maybe we could do a trial practice, 154 00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:44,735 test the chemistry, play a little Splooch Magooch. 155 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,477 What's that? Classic improv warm-up game. 156 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:49,784 You don't know Splooch Magooch? 157 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,307 Oh, my God. This is not gonna work. 158 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,656 No way. But I'm up against it. 159 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,310 You're in. All of you. 160 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,114 Full member status. Welcome to the big leagues. 161 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,835 We practice in a public park. 162 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,447 Gotta get rid of my headbands. 163 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,623 No, wait! Mom got rid of hers! 164 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,407 But does that mean I need to keep mine? 165 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,409 [gasps] CannisterCo? 166 00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,019 That's Mom's brand! 167 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,589 Babe? 168 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,243 Are you all right? 169 00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:17,551 No, Jeff! I am definitely not [bleep] all right! 170 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,683 I have to get rid of anything related to my mom! 171 00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:22,207 What about that dress? 172 00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,905 [gasps] 173 00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:25,472 [groaning] 174 00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:32,783 ♪ 175 00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:34,350 - [screams] - [screams] 176 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,613 ♪ 177 00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:37,788 [screams] 178 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:40,008 ♪ 179 00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:42,619 I hereby sentence you to become... 180 00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:45,709 your mother! 181 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,843 [gasps, breathing heavily] 182 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,410 If you just had a nightmare, 183 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:51,933 please don't tell me about it. 184 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,109 No need for both of us to get scared. 185 00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,720 Wait a minute. That's it. 186 00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:59,244 A way I'm not anything like my mom. 187 00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,594 You. 188 00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,465 Oh, she would never marry someone like you. 189 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,119 Almost nobody would. 190 00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:05,816 Ah, thanks, babe. 191 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,035 [sighs] 192 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,689 I'm not becoming my mother. 193 00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,212 I'm glad, too. 194 00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:13,650 No offense, but being married to Mrs. S? 195 00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:15,043 Barf City, 196 00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:17,349 population no thank you. 197 00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:19,047 [Hayley gulps] 198 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,546 KLAUS: Laid-back except for quick bursts of anger. 199 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,791 Why is this mother-[bleep] Junior Jumble so hard?! 200 00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,575 -Gaah! -Lazy. 201 00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:26,576 [yawning] Oh, man. 202 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,882 I sure am tired 203 00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,710 from that quick burst of anger. 204 00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,451 Heavy substance abuse. 205 00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:34,497 [bubbling] 206 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,933 Oh, my God. 207 00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:38,240 I'm not becoming my mother. 208 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:39,459 I married her. 209 00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,896 Now, give Momma some sugar 210 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,768 [distorted] so she can have them sweet dreams. 211 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,640 [thunder crashes] 212 00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:47,771 [Hayley screams] 213 00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:49,730 [both screaming] 214 00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,733 [Hayley and Jeff scream] 215 00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,517 [door opens] 216 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:55,562 [blankets rustle] 217 00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:01,132 Mrs. S, can I sleep with you and Mr. S tonight? 218 00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,918 Hayley realized it's actually me who's like you, 219 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,224 and now she's madder than Wario! 220 00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:08,096 [muffled screams] 221 00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:12,317 It's you who's like me, huh? 222 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:14,929 ♪ 223 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,365 Aren't you happy? 224 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,323 You're not going to become your mom. 225 00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:19,727 Yeah, but I sure as hell don't want 226 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,544 to be married to her, either. 227 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:24,504 Jeff needs to be de-Francine-ified. 228 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:28,856 Starting with those beloved golden locks of his. 229 00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,988 - Say, where is Jeff? - No idea. 230 00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,642 I've been working like a dog 231 00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,644 on my man-cave all morning. 232 00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:36,341 That's right. I'm still doing that. 233 00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:37,865 [sighs] 234 00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,780 Brother, I need to hydrate. 235 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:41,869 [door opens, laughter] 236 00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,873 Oh, hey there. 237 00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:49,616 We just got back from the most amazing girls' day out. 238 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,880 Look, babe! We got mani-ped-a-files! 239 00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,988 You're just doing this to get back at me, aren't you? 240 00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,711 Actually, Hayley, maybe I'm just happy 241 00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,234 to finally have a "daughter" 242 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,628 who wants to do things with me. 243 00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,368 You know what? I don't have time for this. 244 00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,066 My study group got moved up to noon. 245 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,415 Eunice sent me a text. 246 00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:09,287 On what? A telegraph? 247 00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:12,160 No, Francine, on her phone. 248 00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:15,555 Which she did mail to me in an envelope. 249 00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,034 I gotta get this back to her. 250 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:21,430 ♪ 251 00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:24,955 TOGETHER: Splooch Magooch, there's a monkey in my cooch, 252 00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,697 and he came out to give me a... 253 00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:29,307 And then, Barry, bud, you say 254 00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:31,614 an adjective and noun that start with "A". 255 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,809 Whatever pops into your head. 256 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:33,940 Don't worry about trying to be funny. 257 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:34,922 Doesn't have to be funny. 258 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,793 Angry apple. 259 00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:38,055 How is that funny? I... 260 00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:40,014 Oh, my God, we are so screwed. 261 00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,363 Now, if I'm up next, 262 00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,234 for example, and I've got "B", 263 00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:45,497 I'm just gonna fire off something super funny, like... 264 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,244 How about Bronx banana? 265 00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:57,379 Heh. You know, like a... like a tough New Yawk banana? 266 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,686 Like, "'Ey, I'm peelin' here!" 267 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:02,123 [laughter] 268 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,428 "You peelin' to me?" 269 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:06,518 All right. That's more like it. 270 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,738 There may be hope for us yet. [laughs] 271 00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,349 [laughter continues] 272 00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:14,222 [thinking] Looks like we got ourselves a funnyman here. 273 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:16,616 Okay, Steve, you think you can push me out? 274 00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:17,921 Game on. 275 00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:20,315 SNOT: Mr. Steve's Uncle, sir? 276 00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,970 [growls] 277 00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,798 What should I do here? 278 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,756 Well, whatever you do, don't blow him. 279 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,716 He just keeps coming back again and again. 280 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,327 ♪ 281 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,720 HAYLEY: Wow, Eunice. 282 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:36,200 Look at all these incredible things you've done. 283 00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:38,202 Professional female wrestling, 284 00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,814 fighting alongside Jane Fonda and the Viet Cong, 285 00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:44,208 founding member of the Shangri-Las and Buckcherry, 286 00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,994 hang gliding, bang gliding. 287 00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:49,997 How did you make such an amazing life for yourself? 288 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,913 I decided early on I wanted an exciting life. 289 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,741 My own life. 290 00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:56,656 So, I left home at 12. 291 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,266 Cut all ties. 292 00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,268 It had to be done. 293 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,705 I didn't want to be anything like my parents. 294 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,838 - Are you? - Heavens no. 295 00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:08,711 And neither, for that matter, is Milford, my husband. 296 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,191 Husband? 297 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,672 Any of you study buddies call 298 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:15,283 for an old fuddy duddy? 299 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,415 - [chuckles] - Ha! 300 00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,983 That's us in our younger days. 301 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:22,246 But you are only ever as old as you feel. 302 00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:25,423 Milford here is 102 and still sharp as a tack. 303 00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,947 That's right. 304 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,036 Well, I'm off to the lab 305 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,865 to play tiddlywinks with Morbo. 306 00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,823 Goodbye, Constance! 307 00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:38,610 [brakes squeak] 308 00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:40,047 [upbeat music plays] 309 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,223 ♪ I take two steps forward ♪ 310 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,486 ♪ And I do, too ♪ 311 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,444 ♪ We stay together ♪ 312 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,882 BOTH: ♪ 'Cause I am just like you ♪ 313 00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:51,101 Give your momma some sugar 314 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:54,104 so we can have them sweet dreams! 315 00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:56,237 No! 316 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,370 Your personality is not going to dictate who I am! 317 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:00,850 Or who I'm with! 318 00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,766 - Ah don't want your life! - [gasps] 319 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:07,117 - And ah don't want your wife! - [gasps] 320 00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:09,903 I am cutting all ties with you! Forever! 321 00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:14,124 - [door slams] - All right. 322 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:17,388 Next up, we got Tuttle with "Magic Stick". 323 00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:19,347 Pizza Party Weekenders! 324 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,915 Some of you have expressed, both to me directly 325 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,047 and to one another in private phone calls, 326 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:26,397 concerns about my "mental state" 327 00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:30,271 and how hard I've been riding our rising star here, 328 00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:31,794 so I just wanted you to know 329 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,187 that Steve and I had a good talk 330 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,929 and, well, he agrees, and I do, too, 331 00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,148 - that he's out of the group. - What?! 332 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,281 Can't be trusted. He's out. Steve's out. 333 00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:42,457 - And Buck-Knife Joe is in. - [growling] 334 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,328 Are you sure that's a good idea? 335 00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:47,157 Look, Buck-Knife Joe might have a knife around his neck, 336 00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,521 but you know what he doesn't have? 337 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:50,073 An agenda. 338 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,815 Now, let's have some fun, you buncha damn Judases! 339 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:56,863 [thunder crashes] 340 00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,473 I'm sorry to barge in on you like this. 341 00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,475 I-I-I just didn't know where else to go. 342 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,433 That's all right, dear. 343 00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:05,219 You just go on and get yourself out of those wet clothes. 344 00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,134 You can borrow some of ours. 345 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,396 Don't worry! 346 00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,398 You're not going to be your mother! 347 00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:13,357 And neither is your husband! 348 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:17,535 Because you and your husband are going to be... 349 00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:18,754 us. 350 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,930 [both laugh maniacally] 351 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,062 [click!] 352 00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:35,336 ♪ 353 00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:38,034 [laughing continues] 354 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,169 Oh, it seems like I saw something 355 00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:44,867 I'm not supposed to, but rest assured, 356 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,739 I have absolutely no idea what's happening. 357 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:50,220 Please, do go on. 358 00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:52,614 [laughing continues] 359 00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:55,747 [Jeff laughs] 360 00:13:56,009 --> 00:14:00,187 ♪ 361 00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:03,320 Yo, U-Dog, you sure you don't mind us 362 00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:05,975 wearing your fancy old threads, kemosabe? 363 00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,891 Oh, not at all, dear. 364 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:13,200 My, don't they just fit you perfectly. 365 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:18,292 Ugh! Do you have any other tattoos I should know about? 366 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:21,469 I got a Jill Stein riding a surfboard on my upper thigh, 367 00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,601 but it's usually covered up with pubes. 368 00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,168 Wait. Why? 369 00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:27,257 That's enough damn pecan sandies! 370 00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:28,780 They'll go straight to my... 371 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:31,609 Eh, your calves. 372 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:33,655 [doorbell rings] 373 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:34,656 Ba-duh! 374 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,658 Mom? 375 00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:39,226 I thought you convinced the girl to cut all ties! 376 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,792 I did! 377 00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:43,317 - What do you want? - My daughter. 378 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,685 Well, I am not coming back with you. 379 00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,624 Not you! Jeff. 380 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,193 Well, he's not going anywhere. 381 00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,892 Actually, none of us are until this storm lets up. 382 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,024 Road's flooded. Just barely made it up here. 383 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,634 Yo, Milhouse, this the shitter? 384 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,723 I had a chalupa or two on the drive over. 385 00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:00,725 ♪ 386 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:01,509 What the... 387 00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:09,256 ♪ 388 00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:12,694 Oh. My. God. 389 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,217 Sweet man cave! 390 00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:15,827 Love the mad scientist theme. 391 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:17,568 Beakman's World! 392 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:18,961 And I bet the secret entrance 393 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,181 keeps the wife out on game day, amirite? 394 00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,271 Holy moly! 395 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,273 Can you smoke a brisket in this baby? 396 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,884 What is this, Sears? How much this puppy put you back? 397 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,930 What you got going here? Brewski fridge? 398 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,757 You know, all this place really needs is 399 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,866 chili pepper lights everywhere, and then right there... 400 00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:38,763 [banging, growling] 401 00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:41,505 And then right there, Spuds MacKenzie poster. 402 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,246 Hold up. I got like 10 in the car. 403 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,554 Cool dress, Hayley. 404 00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,339 I love how it does absolutely nothing for you. 405 00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,775 Says the woman who dresses 406 00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,342 like the pink ghost from Pac-Man. 407 00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:53,735 Enough! 408 00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,563 I cannot stand the inane prattling 409 00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,695 of you two trifling fools any longer! 410 00:15:57,739 --> 00:15:59,654 I'm not Eunice. 411 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:03,527 I'm Dr. Constance Von Stroheim! 412 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,007 And with my husband, 413 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,662 I've discovered the key to eternal life. 414 00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,839 And you shall be our vessels! 415 00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:13,624 Morbo! 416 00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:16,801 [growling, thudding] 417 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,020 What's a Morbo? 418 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:22,372 ♪ 419 00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:25,027 Seize them, you stupid brute! 420 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,550 [Morbo growls] 421 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,030 - Aaaah! - Aaaah! 422 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,995 Wow. Biggest turnout ever. 423 00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,648 I know things got a little bumpy there 424 00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:39,365 for a little while, but I think we came out 425 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,348 the other end all the stronger for it. 426 00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:44,133 Now, why don't we warm up with a little Vroom Zoom Kaboom? 427 00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:45,221 Vroom. 428 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:46,570 - Zoom. - You're out. 429 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:47,919 You're all out. I'm sorry. 430 00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:49,965 I-I just can't work with people I can't trust. 431 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,141 Buck-Knife Joe has some friends. They're in. 432 00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,597 No time to practice, so we'll just have 433 00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,101 to do warm-up games for the show. 434 00:16:56,624 --> 00:17:00,715 TOGETHER: Splooch Magooch, there's a monkey in my cooch, 435 00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:03,674 and he came out to give me a... 436 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,894 Big surprise! 437 00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:09,593 [gasps] The original members of Pizza Party Weekend? 438 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,726 Can't do characters, can we? 439 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,555 Well, now that we have a majority again, 440 00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,644 you are out! 441 00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:20,082 [laughter] 442 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,954 The lesson from this adventure is clear. 443 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,913 I'm just too trusting. 444 00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:27,524 [thunder crashes] 445 00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:31,485 So, the hubby called an audible, and for the time being, 446 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:34,966 he will be taking the body of your vivacious mother here. 447 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:37,056 - Ow! - And we decided to use 448 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,233 Jeff's body for the brain of our beloved cat, 449 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,626 Mr. Poopie. 450 00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:45,064 And what have you done with Stan... 451 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,239 you nutcase? 452 00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,067 Oh, nothing too bad. 453 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,939 I crushed up an allergy pill into his malt liquor. 454 00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,723 He's sleeping like a little angel 455 00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,856 on the upstairs Davenport. 456 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:57,032 [thudding] 457 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,208 [breathing heavily, growls] 458 00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:01,906 Get your filthy hands off my body, 459 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,995 you putrid oaf! 460 00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,562 This will just take a sec. 461 00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,390 [Morbo screams] 462 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:10,219 I shouldn't have taken off with Jeff like that. 463 00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:11,414 Otherwise, you wouldn't have come here, 464 00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,004 and you'd be safe. 465 00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:16,834 Oh, Hayley, I didn't really come for Jeff. 466 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,619 I came to meet Eunice. 467 00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,142 What? Why? 468 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,057 Because you seem to want 469 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,016 to follow in her footsteps so much. 470 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:29,282 I really never did want you to be just like me. 471 00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:33,155 But I did wanna be someone you'd want to be like. 472 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,766 Oh, Mom. You are. 473 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,768 There's a lot of things about me... 474 00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:39,814 that I'm glad I got from you. 475 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,123 Oof. Arm's cramping from all that whipping. 476 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:47,038 [chuckles] What a putrid oaf, right? 477 00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:49,519 Anywho, time to make some space 478 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:53,958 in those pretty heads for our beautiful minds. 479 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:57,484 ♪ 480 00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:58,963 [whirring] 481 00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,661 Hold hands... 482 00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:01,879 while we die? 483 00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,011 Can't. 484 00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:04,186 Strapped down. 485 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,622 Yes, you can. 486 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:06,971 You're... 487 00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:08,538 double-jointed. 488 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,192 Oh, yeah. 489 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,020 [bones crack] 490 00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:14,153 Oh, yeah! 491 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,372 ♪ 492 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:17,417 [bones crack] 493 00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:19,810 [bones crack] 494 00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:22,161 ♪ 495 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:25,120 Raaahhh! 496 00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:28,645 Mom, wake up! Let's go! 497 00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,734 Morbo, you beastly fool! 498 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,083 Attack! 499 00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:34,216 [Morbo growls] 500 00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:39,090 Morbo! What the hell? Why do you do what she says? 501 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,354 Seriously. Wa-peesh! 502 00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,878 Ha-ha! Very funny. 503 00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:47,098 But Morbo not "whipped", okay? 504 00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:49,100 Morbo, you're quite literally whipped, 505 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,233 like all the time. 506 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:55,759 What are you waiting for, you stupid, hideous fiend?! 507 00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:56,934 Get them! 508 00:19:57,631 --> 00:19:59,415 [Morbo growls] 509 00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:01,374 [screams] 510 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,027 [blows landing, Morbo growling] 511 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,333 ♪ 512 00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:05,552 [snores] Wha...?! 513 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:08,381 [both breathing heavily] 514 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,383 Mom, listen. I'm so... 515 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,472 Hayley, excuse me, but I had a crazy dream 516 00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:14,256 just now that made me realize something. 517 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,041 I should be spending time with my family, 518 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,087 not hiding away from them in a cave. 519 00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:20,499 - Dad, that's not what we... - Hold on. 520 00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:23,265 Wanna get Steve on speaker for this, too. 521 00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:24,397 STEVE: Hey, Dad, what's up? 522 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,007 I see now that a cave 523 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,052 is a place for a bear, not a man. 524 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:29,271 The only kind of cave 525 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:31,099 I want to be in from now on 526 00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,928 - is a family cave. - [tab pops] 527 00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:36,800 Well, your father just cracked open another 40, 528 00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,976 so guess I'm driving. 529 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,630 You want to follow me home? 530 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:43,111 I wouldn't have it any other way, Mom. 531 00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:50,553 [Jeff purrs] 532 00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:56,472 ♪ 533 00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:58,213 Bye! Have a great time! 534 00:20:58,263 --> 00:21:02,813 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0